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Friday, December 4, 2009

Give Me A Moment

Journal Excerpt from December 4th 2009:

"The last couple months have been different. I feel almost deceived thinking that life was going to get easier as the twins got older. I thought that made sense.

I am frequently asking Bobby out of desperation, "Why is it so hard? When will we get a break?" There are real tough times over here. Night times when three children need our attention at once. Evenings are constant and exhausting until everyone is asleep. Mornings just remind me of the day to come. And afternoons, I can be found with tears after I've given everything I have and must keep giving until I hear Bobby come home.

Because of all of this recently, I've discovered Bobby as the most incredible relief to me. He repairs me and patches me up. He makes jokes until he gets a grin. And he keeps listening to me in my sorry state as I sound entirely bleak. He believes. He hopes that life will get easier. He does this all so steadfastly, without getting caught up in the frustration of it all.

Bobby, you save me everyday..."


Kaylan said...

Oh Nicole! I really feel for you. I am struggling with just 2 kids and I think I have it rough. I know you are handling life with four kids way more gracefully than I am with two. Keep your chin up and know that you can only do your best and your best is always good enough. Love you sweetie!

Ann said...

Thank goodness for these good, good men. I have always felt that even if I lived in a mud hut, I would still be more blessed than any woman I knew, because of Matt.

Lorrie Nulton said...

Nicole, I can't tell you the times Stephen would play "tag, your it" with me! It does reeeealllly get better. The first year is by far the toughest. You are over the hump of it. And, you are doing a fantastic job. You are a fantastic mommy. I wish I was as good as you are. Take time for yourself. Get sleep. Bobby is a blessing. He is a great daddy! I love you and I miss you.

Nadia and Jeremy said...

i totally know how you feel! every day when jeremy comes home it is a total relief. i just posted a note on my blog of how tired i am of residency and just how never ending it seems! it's not the same as having twins, for sure, but every day is a struggle. Hang in there! i think it's great you do so many art projects. i've had more time lately to get back into doing stuff, and it's been such a relief!