This last week has been a blur: water breaking, being hospitalized, C-section, recovery, babies in NICU, missing the older girls, coming home.

Coming home to home, to my little girls and husband. Coming home to familiarity and comfort, leaving another "home" where my new Loves, my Ainsleigh and Annabelle, now dwell.

Love expands, isn't dictated by numbers, and moves people to great action.


Today was my first real day "home" at my house with my family, to recover from the surgery. I took my first of daily excursions to the Harrisburg Hospital to be with the rest of my heart (and bring loads of milk!) My healing body is exhausted, but my heart is still and satisfied.



Annabelle May

The dews of heaven that reminded me of my little girls---rather "giants" as Bobby now calls them, Caroline and Johanna, that missed their Mommy and Daddy while at the hospital. So I sent Bobby home every evening to make them happy, and calm Mommy's heart.

Today we received great news. Both girls took a bottle, which means their sucking reflex has developed early. As their little bodies can handle the added stress and work to suck, especially while being out of their isolettes, their feeding tubes will eventually be removed.

I've only held each girl two times now. So to have them nuzzled close to me in an attempt to suck is more fulfilling and bonding then anything I can imagine. The instant I held them in this wonderfully familiar cradle hold, I cried--finally feeling like they were mine.

Ainsleigh Rae

The "giants", happy to see Mommy home, not so happy that they can't run, jump, elbow, and pounce on me. They have no clue what is in store for them in 2-4 weeks when two crying babies enter the stages of their lives.